September 24, 2007
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have decided that I musn’t be so dichotomous in my thinking: the choice is NOT either: be thin and happy, or fat and dissatisfied. I can be fat, and also, happy, but still, despite being happy, work to be thinner. In other words, I can have the mantra, “I am a size 12. I want to be a size 10. But I am happy. I think that I can live with that. Rather than, “I am a size 12, I want to be a size 10, and its making me feel rotten about myself”. I appreciate Devil with the green eyes yesterday about being wider, but happy. It really is ok. I must learn that being happy does not mean I will descend into a downward spiral of complete loss of self control and become hugely obese, simply as a result of feeling OK about being size 12. No more than, say, wearing tevas and shorts, with a “life is good” t shirt will cause me to become a big hairy lesbian like my mean sister. (Not that there is anything wrong with that!).
On Alli, initially, I lost five pounds. It was great! Even if it gave me the shits, and smelly farts. But now I am back up again, probably as I used Alli as carte blanche to just eat whatever I wanted. I have signed up for weight watchers, but not in a self punitive way. Simply, weight watchers online, where I don’t have to go to meetings, but, can use their electronic meal and food tracking system. It helps me be mindful of what I am eating. We’ll see how it goes. The next step: to learn to trust myself when I eat, and never diet again. Yeah, right.
Complete Alli Diet review from dietitian’s perspective.