I just can’t sop thinking about the E-harmony.com couples–they have 29 dimensions of compatibility! Last week I nearly blew out all my brain circuits coming up with ten possible things a couple could ever agree upon. I’m going to take a shot at the 19 that are left.
We each agree…
1. To share equally in doing none of the chores we promise to.
2. The neat partner will wait two years before killing the sloppy one.
3. If only one of us believes in UFOs, worldwide conspiracy theories and that September 11th was without a doubt an inside job caused by Dick Cheney throwing an exploding paper plane into the World Trade Center–our relationship just isn’t going to work
4. Nicknames for body parts are never revealed even under government sponsored torture.
5. No ferret ever sleeps in our bed.
6. When in-laws, or potential in-laws, call the non-related spouse gets only 30 seconds to sneak out of the house to avoid the call.
7. If the woman starts to grow a mustache and the man starts to grow boobs there is a subtle gender swap going on and its got to stop! 8. It is a law of nature: No matter who wins the fight the man loses the bed.
9. It is another law of nature: “Male pattern” baldness triggers “Female pattern” butt growth.
10. The last one out the door leaves the oven on.
11. Neither of us will ever say “Oops, I thought you had the birth control covered this time.”
12. A vasectomy is never a good surprise to wake up to.
13. Faking ED is not an excuse to get back to watching the game.
14. Designer stubble is just for the man.
15. After ten years of marriage a kiss on the forehead is close enough to the lips for each of us.
16. Getting your stomach stapled is the new doing 15 minutes of crunches a day. 17. Leaving a tortilla with melted cheese in it on the counter over night so a rat gets stuck on it does not constitute making a breakfast burrito for the one you love.
18.Charity begins at home–especially on the days you get away with lifting a $20.00 from your partners wallet or purse.
19. Which ever partner forces the other one to go to an Enya, Yanni or John Tesh concert pays for the divorce.
Complete eharmony review and other dating site reviews and rankings from a matchmaker’s perspective.