Snail’s Pace

Here it is: I’m just not into Traveler. It’s bewildering but true. His birthday is tomorrow–do I send him a happy birthday text and prolong the misery or skip the text and so tap the final nail into the coffin?

New Year’s Eve was fantastic. There was much laughter, good food, bottles and bottles of sparkling wine, and just the right amount of carousing. I feel so fortunate to have these friends.

D was there all tall and lanky. The friends (the women, anyway) wanted me to kiss him at midnight but I didn’t. It was just too hard. D’s an important person to me, and I don’t want to launch myself at him unless I know how I feel. It’s ridiculous, I know, but I am so tired of breaking hearts unnecessarily. I want to act on good information, you know? Right now everything is so tentative.

Plus, I have no idea what D is thinking. For awhile yesterday I was a bit concerned that he had changed his mind about me. I wouldn’t worry about that if I didn’t like him, would I?

He and I talked a lot, shared inside jokes, sat close(ish) on the couch … I know it isn’t modern, but I like this snail’s pace. The whole group of us is going on vacation soon anyway; I think by then we will know better.

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