Why Are Men Scared Of Success?

In a time of materialiasm and overconsumption, is love still the core of our beings? Or have we put love on the backburner and replaced it with the quest for success and material things? I like to think none of us really find true happiness without sharing it with someone else. Success is always so much sweeter when we have someone to share it with. The right someone.

Whenever I’ve reached career achievements or personal success in my life I’ve always been overly excited to share it with those I love. But when I was with Ivy, (the ex), sharing those achievements was never as sweet because he just didn’t care. His Ivy League education would always be more prestigious than my, in his words, “public schooling”. His career would always be more admirable than mine, his bonuses more generous. There was always a sense of superiority and I tried to tell myself it didn’t matter. But his down playing my successes made me not only question their importance, but also lose the initial excitement I had before telling him.

Can we ever really be happy for a partner who achieves more success than we do financially or personally especially if it’s the female making the achievement? Or we always face a double standard due to our gender? When a man gets a promotion or bonus, their partner is supposed to be elated because they’ve both succeeded in a sense, financially. When a man reaches a position of power he is considered “successful”. Yet when a female achieves the same success, men are often intimidated and at some point she’s usually labeled “career obsessed” or simply a “bitch” by both male colleaugues and potential love interests. Is this fair? Do women really deserve to be punished in the dating world for being too successful in the business world?

We are expected to achieve success in all aspects of our lives, academically, socially and finally financially. But how are women supposed to play on a level field in the business world when we are looked down upon for doing so? If a couple decides to raise a child with a stay at home parent, the mother is more often than not the one expected to forgoe her career and take on this duty. Why is this so? Are men not as capable of women of taking care of children? Or are women not as sucessful in the workplace?

I guess our best bet as successful females in the year 2008 is to find a guy who doesn’t mind a girl who’s happy being able to take care of herself.

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