i hadn’t had any contact with M since she so graciously tried to set me up with her best friend.
thanks, but no thanks, bud!
a snowy morning while on my way into work, i teetered toward work a little late- overslept. i made my way into my train, down, underground into that stale station. fellow commuters tapped their way down the stairs, in the direction of the platform. a sea of moving heads. the backs of heads. and then a head i knew.
the razored edge of a short, gentlemen’s cut- resting just above the crisp cliff of a freshly starched shirt.
M.
i pattered down after her. she was fast.
i called out her name. she turned back my way, pausing and moving away from the crowd of people climbing down. we met side by side.
“hi,” she said, warm a tone as ever.
we exchanged pleasantries. mostly about the superbowl and how the giants won. and blah blah. and blah. we reached the platform at the same time.
“um… do you mind if i ride the train with you?” she asked me.
“not at all!” i told her firmly, but smiling as i said it. i wanted to give off the impression of no hard feelings. and yet my body was telling me the opposite. i was all shakes and words caught up in my throat. maybe even a little extra shine in my eye, the teary kind.
“so, how are you?” i asked her- voice a bit unsteady.
“oh, i’m great. things are going really well with my girlfriend, [insert name]. i can’t complain. life is great really. and how are you?” M, rattled on, a bit nervous.
“fine… dating a lot. but good… it’s been… a really… great new year.”
[why the *** did i just say that? i sound retarded. and i am totally not in my best outfit for this kind of an encounter. i should should look totally hot right now, but i look “cute”, and that’s making me feel all girlish.]
just then a train pulled into the station- but not our train. M and i rode the same train to work- the train where i first saw her.
“listen, that’s my train, and i am late, so i really should go,” she rushed.
i nodded. she grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. i looked down as she let go. her hand dropped to her side and moved away, getting smaller as she ran toward the train.
she got on the wrong train to avoid me.
i felt sad and relieved at the same time.