BABble brought up a good point in her last two posts.
In some areas of the Fat Acceptance blogsphere, there is definitely a tone of being a ‘good’ fat person versus being a ‘bad’ fat person. ‘Good’ ones eat healthily and exercise, they’re fat because that’s how their body is. ‘Bad’ ones hit the stereotype of sitting on the couch in front of the TV eating all day, not eating nutritiously, not exercising, basically being a slug.
It hit me in a big way, because by that definition I’m a bad fattie.
I posted this as a comment on the second post:
I’ll never be healthy, no matter what my size is. I have severe chronic asthma and PCOS, neither of which were caused by my fat but sure make it hard as hell to maintain a weight.
Please note I said maintain - I would be happy at whatever weight I stablized at if it would just stop moving!
When I go out in public and end up sweating and breathing heavy just walking in to a store from the car I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me as a bad fatty - I’m obviously not healthy and I’m out of shape, so of course that’s why I’m fat.
When I see people talking about HAES it makes me cringe sometimes, because it would literally take an act of $deity-of-choice to make me healthy. And, honestly, it makes me feel judged and like I’m not allowed in the ‘HAES/FA gang’ because of course it’s just as easy as eating right and exercising as you can.
Except when it’s not, any more than healthy eating and exercise means I can lose weight.
So I feel like a failure from both the POV of the fat haters *and* the HAES proponents.
I didn’t comment on yesterday’s post because it’s something I’m somewhat afraid to talk about, but the good fattie/bad fattie is something I pick up on in a lot of FA blogs I read.
Doing almost anything physical will trigger an asthma attack for me. I spend a lot of time on the couch working, reading, knitting, generally with the TV on in the background. I don’t think I eat horridly, but I have a messed-up relationship with food thanks to dieting over the years.
And there isn’t much of anything I can do about it.
I might get enough lung function back at some point to exercise won’t trigger the reaction, but honestly, it shouldn’t matter. I deserve to be treated with respect no matter what my size is or the state of my health. If there is someone who chooses to not exercise, rather than have it as a physical limitation, they should also be treated with respect. Fat or thin, healthy or unhealthy for whatever reason, or somewhere between either or both of those states, every human deserves basic respect. My size and the state of my health shouldn’t have anything to do with it. If someone is not going to respect me, I’d much rather it be for something I do or say than something I *am*. I’d rather have it be personal than stereotypical.
If you get a chance, check out weighins.com. It’s a supportive close-knit community for people wanting to lose weight. With a free membership you can join a weight loss challenge (like the Biggest Loser tv show). You also get a free calorie counter and personal diet journals. I like it much better than sparkpeople.