Why Now?

So much of my life has been struggle. Not because I was born into poverty, or because I was disfigured in a tragic accident at the age of seven. Neither of these things are true, although they would at least explain my penchant for misery. My life has been a constant struggle because I can’t seem to get out of my own way. Happiness has eluded me. Success in much of anything has been unachievable. And I think I’ve just had it in for myself.  The history of my compulsive eating goes back to my childhood. I’ve had addictions of other kinds, including alcohol as a teenager and cigarettes through my twenties. It’s just been within the last year or two that I’ve recognized that “diets” probably won’t do it for me. I must figure out what need food fills for me, and discover what might take its place in a healthier way.  So, why now? Why should this time be any different? From my first go at a “Slim-Fast” diet when I was 12, to epehdra use in my early twenties, to vegetarianism, to Sugar Busters! to macrobiotics, something should have worked for me by this point in my life, right? I look back on old diet journals and food logs from two, three, four years ago, and it’s like I haven’t changed at all. Same goals, same weight, same issues. Again, it’s not about the diet, or the plan, or the latest book on nutrition on my bookshelf. It’s about delving inside and really discovering what I need in my life that food obviously does not supply. So maybe that’s the difference. Finally being honest and really trying to find these things out. Only I have the answer, and I’ve really had it all along.

If you get a chance, check out weighins.com. It’s a supportive close-knit community for people wanting to lose weight. With a free membership you can join a weight loss challenge (like the Biggest Loser tv show). You also get a free calorie counter and personal diet journals. I like it much better than sparkpeople.